Monday, November 14, 2011

Of this, I am certain

Last week I did something completely drastic. I deactivated my facebook account. In todays world, doing such a thing is akin to social suicide. That is to say, I removed my "online presence" from easy access and made it a whole lot more difficult to reach me.

I did this for several reasons, the first of which being that I am completely impulsive.

I don't meant to go emo on any of you, but lately I've been pretty down. Down for many reasons, most of which are my own fault, but I was down because I feel as if I do not have any friends. This is a pathetic statement, but it is true. Yes. I have facebook friends, but I don't have friend friends. Friends that come to visit. Friends that go out for coffee. Friends that treat me like I'm someone worth hanging out with.

I used to have friends, back in college and even after. We would hang out weekly and do things together, and it was nice. Now, time and distance separates us, and we are reduced to digital buddies. The occasional wall post, poke, or message is all that we have left. Even texting seems somewhat mediocre compared to the level it once was. I understand the convenience of it all, but in some ways, the substance is lacking. Watching this slow decline into casual acquaintances both infuriates and saddens me.

So I deleted my facebook account.

And it feels marvelous. Like starting from scratch in life. No longer do I feel the weight to update, check, and post, just so I can stay visible to my friends. No longer do I feel sad as I watch myself be replaced by closer, more convenient friends. No longer am I constrained to parameters of digital friendship. Now I can pursue those deep, meaningful, substantial friendships that I have been lacking these last three years.

I'm hopeful for this future.

I'm also incredibly busy with work and life. But that is a story for another post.


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